Grace Junkies

Feeling down about yourself? Questioning past choices and actions? Do you seek out people or books that affirm you? Do you cut yourself off from people who don’t embrace you?  Are you a grace junkie? I define the term as someone who wants grace, feels that they desperately need grace from others, and will do anything to obtain it. Many of these are Christians, but God’s grace is insufficient for them in the moment. They want to be perfect and new NOW, like the televangelist with the perfect hair and the sparkling teeth. They want grace, but they don’t understand it. Sadly, they are often so desperate for grace that they are unwilling to share it with others.

It would be wonderful if grace was like paint primer. Something you could slather on with as many coats as needed to cover all defects and provide an opaque base for an attractive finish coat. But that isn’t what God wants. Why does God tell us in the Old Testament that Moses was a murderer? Was He wanting to rub Moses’ nose in his sins? Did we have to know that Rahab was a harlot? Was that to smear her throughout time and diminish her heroism? Did we really need to know that Saul persecuted and killed Christians before becoming Paul the Apostle? The heroes of the Bible aren’t defined by their pasts, but in knowing their pasts, we can appreciate that there is hope for us.

I’ve made countless mistakes in my life – some accidental and some intentional. God forgives me for these, and has cast my sins away from me to the very depths of the ocean. But even though He does not look at me and think “there’s that reprobate sinner”, He has not and will not blot them from MY memory. If you visit a vintage car show, you will encounter some remarkably restored cars – some looking even better than when they left the factory. Talk to the owners, though, and they can likely show you a photo album of what it was like when they found it and how much work it took to transform. I once restored an antique oak barber chair (much less challenging than a car), and when it came time to part with it the buyer wanted not only the restored chair, but the pictures I had of the pile of wood and metal with which I had started. You see, the present condition is made all the more remarkable by the previous condition. So it is that in embracing who I was, where I was, what I’ve done helps me bear witness to the work of God. Like David in the Psalms, we all still walk through the valley of the shadow of death. But that shadow has been lifted from us. Notwithstanding, we will encounter many shady people on the way and some will throw shade at us for the lives we’ve lived. It’s not for them, though, that we bear witness, but for those who are like we were and long to come out of the shadows.

Returning to the vintage car metaphor, let’s say you encounter two seemingly identical cars, both looking factory-fresh. You speak to the owner of the first and he tells you that he found the car rotting in a field, rust having consumed the floorboards and trunk, window glass a distant memory; and he describes the process he undertook to bring it back to the condition you now see. It almost seems miraculous.

Then you speak to the owner of the second car. He tells you how he bought the car new, stored it in a humidity-controlled garage, only removed the factory-original plastic seat covers immediately before the show at which you’re seeing it.

If you’re looking to restore a vintage car, which of these owners might prove a resource to you? The first owner who worked a seeming miracle on his car, or the second owner who simply protected what he had? If you ARE a vintage car, which owner would you want?  

In the legal system, there are many people who pass through with alcohol and/or substance abuse problems. As a condition of probation, many are required to meet with alcohol or substance abuse counselors. In hiring for these positions, the court looks for those who have not only completed the requisite training, but for those who have overcome alcohol or substance abuse issues in their own lives. You see, a tour guide is much more helpful if they have already taken the journey you’re undertaking.

I love God. Being a rational person, a primary reason must be the grace of God and His sacrifice for me. I have to confess that this love isn’t selfless, but more transactional. If He didn’t provide an exit strategy for the things I’ve done in this world, I would probably feel differently. I suspect that is why so many do not love God – they don’t recognize or understand the value in the transaction, or perhaps don’t even believe in the offer. God knows my past, but still wants me to be with Him. This is a transaction that is rarely offered in our daily lives. This is grace. Grace which I appreciate all the more knowing that I am undeserving. Family members, loved ones, friends – all have at one time or another looked at me and have agreed with me that I am undeserving of grace. I treasure those who have extended it anyway. In my life, I don’t want people who will pretend that my past doesn’t exist, nor do I want people who will force me to relive it. Rather, I want people who in knowing my past will marvel with me at the restoration. I’m not perfect. There is still some rust in the quarter panels and the wiring under the dash is frayed and subject to sparking, but I belong to God and He is perfecting me. The work He has done is a testament to His promise. In Philippians we are assure that when God has begun a good work in us He will be faithful to complete it. Looking around at the once broken people who claimed this promise, I can trust in claiming it, too.