Happy Father’s Day!

I suspect that Father’s Day was ultimately a creation of greeting card companies who, having had such great success with Mother’s Day, saw a further opportunity to cash in. Cynicism aside, though, it has always afforded me the opportunity to reflect on the fathers in my life and their contribution, for good or ill, in making me the person I am today.

My father was a flawed man – brilliant but damaged. His emotional growth was stunted by a painful upbringing making him an emotional cripple for the duration of his life. However, he modeled for me some overriding traits that I can’t dismiss. He worked hard to support his family, he didn’t physically abuse or cheat on my mother, and he loved his children in the best way that he could. Although he didn’t physically abuse my mother, he was physically abusive to his children. Living with him was always a constrained terror for both my sister and me, and the oppressiveness we felt took a toll on my mother. I hated him and I loved him. That both emotions could reside in one heart at the same time presented a dichotomy with which I still grapple. For all of the challenges though of having him in my life, I deeply miss him since his death and regret the conversations that we never had.

My father-in-law was a better man. He possessed a good heart, but made some poor choices. He compromised in quest of a peace that he never obtained. He was, though, a man of deep faith whose counsel to me was invaluable in the months preceding his death. Though my marriage has ended, he is the one person from that family with whom I connected and whom I miss.

At this point in my life, my Heavenly Father is the only father with whom I still enjoy a clear and present relationship; and it is in reflecting on that relationship that I have come to realize a deeper, more personal meaning behind Father’s Day.

As Father’s Day approaches this year, our children hopefully will remember their fathers. They may call, write, visit, send a gift or card, or perhaps the day will pass unnoticed. I realize, though, that there is only one thing I want for Father’s Day and it is the same thing our Heavenly Father wants – Relationship. God wants a relationship with all of His children, and he has sacrificed so much to make that possible. Everything else we might offer is as filthy rags to God, but He seeks relationship and connection with His children. This has been His goal since creation and it has been the one thing we have been so reluctant to give Him. When I think of my own children, I can be grateful for the cards, the texts, the visits; but I want something that is not borne out of obligation but a desire to have me in their lives. So it is that God doesn’t want us to try to be good, to make a donation to a Christian charity, to attend church on Sundays – He doesn’t want an obligatory gift, He wants a relationship with us. He has sacrificed his own Son so that we might be able to enjoy such a relationship, but too many of us don’t want to accept His gift.

This Father’s Day, why don’t we take the time to invest in a relationship that is deep and eternal. In so doing, we may discover that we’re the ones who’ve received a Father’s Day gift.