Addressing an issue from the past, someone suggested that I had never really forgiven them. My response of “yes, I have” seemed inadequate, so I thought it important to explore further. I realized, then, that I did not actually know what forgiveness looks like. My simplistic assumption was that forgiveness was simply not holding someone to account for past transgressions. Not revisiting the pain or the shock of past events, while looking forward with a clean slate. But for better or worse events and actions of the past, good or bad, are part of our story and belongs to both of us. So, it belongs to both of us to tell, but with grace not to hurt or injure, but to recall and perhaps from which to grow.
I then look to the forgiveness of God… of the sacrifice of Jesus. I know that my sins are forgiven – were forgiven before I committed them, through the sacrifice of Jesus. We are told that it is the blood of Jesus that washes away our sins. I’ve sang the hymns about a fountain filled with blood and heard countless sermons regarding the power of the blood. But how might I forgive someone else? How might I be forgiven by those (too many I’m sorry to admit) that I have wronged. I can’t follow God’s model, as bloodletting would be too creepy and not be appreciated by anyone. I then consider the passage where we are told that God casts our sins into the deepest sea.1 As far as my family is concerned, we’re not remarkable swimmers, but we are proficient deep-sea divers as far as the wrongs of others are concerned.
So, if I remember, how do I forgive? I believe God’s example is simpler than we realize. It’s not the spilling of blood that forgives sin, but the love that inspires that sacrifice. Like God’s sacrifice, it must be offered and accepted by both parties. The Bible tells us that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.2 Similarly, we are told to confess our sins one to another.3 Such is our earthly forgiveness. We respond to one another with love in answer to our confessions. It doesn’t change our histories; it doesn’t remove the scar; but instead, it cleanses the reality of consequences with love – love that doesn’t weaponize the past nor rewrite the narrative. Forgiveness is a mutual endeavor in terms of both giving and receiving.
So, revisiting the question of the first paragraph – yes, I have forgiven. I deeply love the person to whom I gave that forgiveness and it remains my prayer that they can accept it – and extend their forgiveness to me.
1 Micah 7:19 He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.
2 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
3 James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.
In a dry and thirsty land 